peeve

people like you,

lifes a beach im just playing in the sand

i havent been home in a couple weeks & for the past month ive constantly been with friends and family, just trying to keep certain situations and people off my mind. being alone at the moment is giving me time to introspect… probably more than i should. what i need is closure. most likely im not going to get it from the person i need it from so im forcing myself to just close the door emotionally on that time in my life or else ill grow up a little old hag always look at the past like a crutch with the “What If” questions.

 im expressing it through this outlet.

____________________________________________________________________

basically youve taught me to embrace the happy moments in life and also to trust my instincts. my instincts with you were right from the beginning i should have steered away from whatever was happening. i allowed myself to tear that wall down and take a chance. when we were together you allowed me to be myself and find new love in the things that i was taught as a little girl. you made me happy.  you probably will never know how much you influenced that in me and i thank you for it.

ill probably write a song about it and get famous like adele or some shit.

joking.

you’ve also made me feel a grave sense of desperation. for the past 22 years of my life ive been an independent person when it comes to romantic relationships.i dont need clinginess or a sense of entitlement, as long as you make me happy ill be there. but with you, ive never felt more pathetic trying to communicate with someone in my life . you made me feel like shit and widdled down. spending time with you was peachy keen til that abrupt end.my life felt like Joseph Gordon Levitt in 500 days of Summer being with you and ill probably never understand where things went wrong.

im not expecting anymore from you. sooo

FUCK YOU

im going to find my Autumn.

its life and things happen. you were a part of my life for a time being and now you are not. 

bidding you adieu. 

-jess

i am so turned off by too much charm. stop.

WHAT THE FUCCCCCCCCK